Boot the Boot Camps

Prison boot camps are getting the boot. By Daniel Hulshizer, AP The Federal Bureau of Prisons plans to eliminate its "intensive confinement" program after the current batch of 525 inmates completes the military-style course over the next six months at boot camps in California, Pennsylvania and Texas. In a Jan. 14 memo to all federal judges, prosecutors and public defenders, Bureau of Prisons Director Harley Lappin said the boot camps, which emphasize physical training and discipline, are no more successful than ordinary incarceration when it comes to preventing released convicts from returning to crime. By eliminating its three boot camps, the prisons bureau — which oversees about 180,000 inmates at 104 facilities across the nation — will save more than $1 million a year, Lappin said. You're in a prison now, You're not behind a plow You'll never get rich You're somebody's bitch, You're in a prison now. It's about time they pulled the plug on this idiotic program. Boot camp is the military's way of saying, "May I have your attention, please?" Once they have your attention, they train you in your REAL job, which is whatever the military or you have chosen for yourself. Your real job is not making your bed, shining your shoes or walking in a straight line, although those skills come in really handy in day to day life. In my case, I chose to be a security policeman. The Air Force took one look at my test scores and overruled me, training me instead to be a computer operator. So instead of wearing a badge and carrying a gun, I spent the next three years at the Air Force Weapons Lab, helping to design many of the smart weapons that are in use today. Stealth bombers and bunker busters were far in the future, but I like to think some of my laser-guided missiles have found their mark and made the world a better place. Anyway, once the military has your attention, they train you in a skill, give you a job and expect results. When I was the tender age of 22, I was a shift supervisor at the lab, with responsibilities my civilian counterparts weren't given until they were in their 40s. I was a somebody. These federal prisoners are thugs. The prison takes them and makes them stronger, gives them discipline and gets their attention and at the end of the program, they're strong, attentive, disciplined thugs. They aren't given high tech skills, they aren't given jobs, they aren't expected to produce results. Often, they're released back onto the same streets that made them thugs in the first place. The Brits had a great idea. Find a continent south of the equator that isn't being used (too much), ship your prisoners there and someday they'll evolve into really annoying but productive individuals with strange accents and loud voices who shout their way through late night infomercials. Krikies! Everyone wins!