Important Stuff -- Or Not: And to All A Good Night

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

And to All A Good Night

Well, I slept away my Christmas day. I got about three hours of sleep Monday, because I was cooking for the potluck at work. A potluck where I work consists of me cooking up a feast and everyone else stopping at the grocery store on the way to work or cleaning out the back of their cupboard. Christmas eve was no different. As I was leaving work Tuesday morning, I warned a young Muslim girl working there, "Don't eat the turducken because there's pork in it." I wanted to add, "I'd hate to think my cooking deprived you of the pleasure of spending the rest of eternity in Paradise standing around and watching your husband have sex with virgins." But I didn't. But I wanted to. But I didn't. I'm so tolerant and sensitive. I got home and fell into bed and didn't wake up till nine hours later. And then I watched "The Christmas Story," which I had never seen before. It was kinda eery, because the part where the kid gets his tongue stuck on the flagpole is EXACTLY what I did to my brother when I was in, I guess, the third grade." Teacher: "Where's Keith?" Kids point at the window. She poured her coffee or tea over his tongue to get him loose. That was back in the days when teachers could drink coffee in the classroom without fear of being poisoned by one of the students. Today, I went for the first physical I can recall having since I retired from the military in '92. My new doctor is a woman. She has the coldest hands -- and the longest fingers -- I've ever seen. The finger exam was eight hours ago and I still don't feel right. I wonder if she removed my appendix while I had my eyes squeezed shut. I have to go in again in the morning for a blood test, so my fasting begins right NOW. Before the deadline, I had a dinner of wiener schnitzel and scalloped potatoes, followed by sugar-free chocolate pudding topped with sugar-free whipped cream. Now, all I have to do is sleep until it's time to drive to Andrews. I haven't messed up a blood test yet. I unplugged my Christmas lights today. I'll hate to see them go. So will the cats. There are still some ornaments hanging on the tree. I imagine I'll spend the next year finding the rest. I guess I'll take it all down tomorrow. For some reason, Blogger has stopped emailing me when someone makes a comment. So, if it takes awhile for your comment to get posted, that's why. I'd hate for you folks to think I'm busy or something. OK, I'm off to bed. Hopefully, it will be nightmare free. Last night, I dreamed I was back with my ex. I had to stay up for two hours before I shook that one off.

7 comments:

Trader Rick said...: Your tolerance and sensitivity is to be commended, Sir!; 6:00 AM
Mark said...: Wait. Turducken:

Turkey, Duck, and Chicken, right?

So, where's the pork?; 8:51 AM
Mark said...: I don't like sugar free chocolate pudding. It just doesn't taste right. Any other flavor of sugar free is fine, but not chocolate. Ever try pistachio? That's great!; 8:57 AM
Tonto said...: OK. That made my sides hurt LR. :)

So did you get a little tongue tied making small talk with your new Mrs. Dr.?? I hate exams.

BTW - My two year old son watched the Christmas Story all day on TBS on Christmas and loved it too. For whatever reason he watched five minutes of it and was hooked on it every time he saw it come on whereever we were all day.

That little boy who wants the rifle had him memerized. It was funny. When he was beating up the little boy at school, Nic would run to the TV and say, "No, No, No." And then laugh.

Not a good sign. I had a feeling watching Nic that he wanted to be the little boy beating up someone!!!; 10:32 AM
Anonymous said...: LOL--you're sometimes dangerous to read while dining. I'm glad I hadn't just taken a swallow of orange juice, I hear it hurts when blown out the nose! ;)

By the way, how do you keep the cats from waking you up for nine hours??; 12:24 PM
Lone Ranger said...: The pork is in the Cajun dressing.

Gwen does wake me up several times for a scratch or two. But if I haven't completely opened my eyes, I don't consider it awake.; 2:58 PM
Anonymous said...: Jeepers! It only took you 2 hours to shake your ex off? It took me at least 8 years!

I hope you and the cats had a lovely Christmas. In fact, a sleep-filled Christmas would have been high on my list of wants and needs.

xoxox; 11:14 AM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.