Wednesday, December 26, 2007

And to All A Good Night

Well, I slept away my Christmas day. I got about three hours of sleep Monday, because I was cooking for the potluck at work. A potluck where I work consists of me cooking up a feast and everyone else stopping at the grocery store on the way to work or cleaning out the back of their cupboard. Christmas eve was no different. As I was leaving work Tuesday morning, I warned a young Muslim girl working there, "Don't eat the turducken because there's pork in it." I wanted to add, "I'd hate to think my cooking deprived you of the pleasure of spending the rest of eternity in Paradise standing around and watching your husband have sex with virgins." But I didn't. But I wanted to. But I didn't. I'm so tolerant and sensitive. I got home and fell into bed and didn't wake up till nine hours later. And then I watched "The Christmas Story," which I had never seen before. It was kinda eery, because the part where the kid gets his tongue stuck on the flagpole is EXACTLY what I did to my brother when I was in, I guess, the third grade." Teacher: "Where's Keith?" Kids point at the window. She poured her coffee or tea over his tongue to get him loose. That was back in the days when teachers could drink coffee in the classroom without fear of being poisoned by one of the students. Today, I went for the first physical I can recall having since I retired from the military in '92. My new doctor is a woman. She has the coldest hands -- and the longest fingers -- I've ever seen. The finger exam was eight hours ago and I still don't feel right. I wonder if she removed my appendix while I had my eyes squeezed shut. I have to go in again in the morning for a blood test, so my fasting begins right NOW. Before the deadline, I had a dinner of wiener schnitzel and scalloped potatoes, followed by sugar-free chocolate pudding topped with sugar-free whipped cream. Now, all I have to do is sleep until it's time to drive to Andrews. I haven't messed up a blood test yet. I unplugged my Christmas lights today. I'll hate to see them go. So will the cats. There are still some ornaments hanging on the tree. I imagine I'll spend the next year finding the rest. I guess I'll take it all down tomorrow. For some reason, Blogger has stopped emailing me when someone makes a comment. So, if it takes awhile for your comment to get posted, that's why. I'd hate for you folks to think I'm busy or something. OK, I'm off to bed. Hopefully, it will be nightmare free. Last night, I dreamed I was back with my ex. I had to stay up for two hours before I shook that one off.

7 comments:

Trader Rick said...

Your tolerance and sensitivity is to be commended, Sir!

Mark said...

Wait. Turducken:

Turkey, Duck, and Chicken, right?

So, where's the pork?

Mark said...

I don't like sugar free chocolate pudding. It just doesn't taste right. Any other flavor of sugar free is fine, but not chocolate. Ever try pistachio? That's great!

Tonto said...

OK. That made my sides hurt LR. :)

So did you get a little tongue tied making small talk with your new Mrs. Dr.?? I hate exams.

BTW - My two year old son watched the Christmas Story all day on TBS on Christmas and loved it too. For whatever reason he watched five minutes of it and was hooked on it every time he saw it come on whereever we were all day.

That little boy who wants the rifle had him memerized. It was funny. When he was beating up the little boy at school, Nic would run to the TV and say, "No, No, No." And then laugh.

Not a good sign. I had a feeling watching Nic that he wanted to be the little boy beating up someone!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL--you're sometimes dangerous to read while dining. I'm glad I hadn't just taken a swallow of orange juice, I hear it hurts when blown out the nose! ;)

By the way, how do you keep the cats from waking you up for nine hours??

Lone Ranger said...

The pork is in the Cajun dressing.

Gwen does wake me up several times for a scratch or two. But if I haven't completely opened my eyes, I don't consider it awake.

Anonymous said...

Jeepers! It only took you 2 hours to shake your ex off? It took me at least 8 years!

I hope you and the cats had a lovely Christmas. In fact, a sleep-filled Christmas would have been high on my list of wants and needs.

xoxox