Important Stuff -- Or Not: Cat-astrophe

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Cat-astrophe

I've been thinking seriously about returning Chito, but every time I do, I look at him and he looks at me and I can't deny that we share a bond. You'd think my marriage would have taught me a lesson about love at first sight, but nope. The main problem is that Gwen and Ginger just refuse to accept him. He is annoying. They are elderly cats and he's full of vim and vinegar. They don't like being chased around the apartment. His play always ends up in hissing and boxing, which he shrugs off because they don't have claws on their front paws. Then there is the litter box problem. I used to dispose of the collection container on my automatic litter box about every six days. Now, it's every other day. And I've also had to start investing in litter box deodorizers. I've tried about five different brands so far and have yet to find one that works. And the other day, he hopped up on my chest while I was watching TV. I was immediately assaulted by the most foul odor. Seems he had just done his thing and buried it -- and then tracked the stench from the litter box to my body. Good thing I can pause live TV. Not a day goes by when Chito doesn't do something that makes me want to box him up and ship him to China (where they eat cats). Thursday, he tipped over my shredder and I awoke to find confetti spread all over the living room. Last night, I looked over and saw him perched atop my CD tower. As soon as he saw me looking at him, he jumped off, causing the tower to fall on top of him. I was going to transfer all my CDs to another place anyway, but he's moved up the timetable. He is constantly underfoot. I have to watch every step I take. He is fascinated with the shower. Whenever I'm taking a shower, he pokes his head in a few times and when I slide back the curtain, I can be assured that he will be sitting right next to the tub. He will eat anything. Gwen totally ignores people food. Ginger will try a few things -- and then immediately throw up. But Chito has to smell and taste everything. It was kinda funny when he tried grapefruit juice. By the way, here's an interesting article on why cats hang around us.

6 comments:

Trader Rick said...: Sounds like my kind of cat!!; 6:20 AM
Cathy said...: That's the way boys behave... boy kitties... too...; 6:45 AM
Lone Ranger said...: I never behaved that way. I was quiet, studious, and never ate crayons, like my sister did. To this day, I remember her multi-colored poop.; 12:16 PM
Anonymous said...: LOL--Maybe that's why your sister ate the crayons--the colored poop.

How old is Chito? Maybe he's still being a kitten. Maybe his odor has to do with what he's eating, or the transition to what he's eating, or a health issue.

I don't have any ideas to help the girls with the annoying little brother. You'd think he'd get the message when they hiss and swipe at him--claws or not. Perhaps he's just "special." ;); 6:32 PM
Lone Ranger said...: I don't remember which sister it was. I just remember the entire family gathered around the toilet to marvel at the poop of many colors.

Chito is a year old - or so I'm told.; 6:30 AM
Tonto said...: So did you trade him in for a goldfish?; 3:40 PM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.