Important Stuff -- Or Not: Just Went Shopping

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Just Went Shopping

I was bored this afternoon, so I went on a little shopping trip. At B, B & B, I bought a small whistling teapot and a French press coffee maker. Enjoying my first cup of coffee now. I like a strong coffee and this is the first good cup I've had since I ate at a Navy dining hall in Yokosuka, Japan in the late 80s. Looks like my Senseo is going to gather a bit of dust. Went over to Safeway to get some dark French roast and found something called crapples...wait..lemme find the package...grapples. They look like apples and taste like grapes. No kidding! And not just any grapes, purple grapes. As a matter of fact, they taste like grape Kool Aide. And look like apples! I'll have to hand some out at work tomorrow. Should be interesting to see if the flat-earth vegetarians, who fear genetically-altered foods, will eat them. These are the same people who want the government to fund stem cell research. Somebody who doesn't know me very well gave me a bottle of 10-year-old, single malt, Laphroaig scotch. I'll be giving that away too -- minus one gulp. I don't drink, but I occasionally try something just so I can take part in discussions. For instance, when I'm in Japan, I'll try sake, when I'm in Korea, I'll try soju, etc. After one gulp, I concluded that this tastes like pine tar -- not that I've ever tasted pine tar. But I've smelled it. Lessee, what else. Oh, yeah. When I got home, I found a package waiting for me. It was a Sunbeam bread maker that I ordered through Amazon.com for about $35. Before I went looking for one, I researched them on consumerreports.org and they said to buy the cheapest one I could find. I used to have one when they first came out in Japan. I gave it to my mom and it mysteriously disappeared. I think one of my sisters has it. But fresh-baked bread sounds good. I don't know if I told you folks this before, but I found a source for a Lone Ranger hat. I called him this morning and he's going to send me some kind of kit that will tell him the size and shape of my head. My head measures 23 inches. Big. Since he makes each hat personally by hand, it will take about seven months. Expect pictures in August. I also found a source for the shirt and pants. Looking at it, I dunnoooo....looks kinda gay when it's worn by someone else. Hoo, this is boring. I'd better stop. I was going to go to bed at nine tonight, but after that powerful cup of coffee, I don't think I'll make it.

2 comments:

Mark said...: I've always been under the impression that you refer to yourself as the Lone Ranger because you are the lone Conservative among your colleagues in the newsroom.

There can never be another Clayton Moore.; 10:57 AM
Lone Ranger said...: I refer to myself as the Lone Ranger because he was the boyhood hero who most influenced my life. As I've said before, when I grew to adulthood, I never discarded the teachings of my parents nor the influence of my heroes. I think that's why I have led a life that has, for the most part, been free of the problems that plague so many other people these days. It's also why I don't feel like a hypocrite when I'm doling out stern advice or criticism to others.

I was giving some dating advice (imagine that) to a co-worder some years ago and told her that if she wants to gain valuable insight into a man's character, she should ask him who his heroes are. If he cites a person of questionable character or doesn't have an answer at all, she should be suspicious. (All men might want to adopt a hero in case they face such an eventuality)

True, there will never be another Clayton Moore. I have a picture of him in his later years pinned up right here next to my monitor. But, there are several people around the country -- like Elvis impersonators -- who make decent money appearing at rodeos, state fairs, etc. I don't plan to go that far. I'm just curious about the experience -- curious enough that I'm willing to spend about a thousand dollars on the project. I'll forego the horse. Not decided yet is whether I'll be buried at Arlington in the mask or in my Air Force uniform. Depends on which fits better.

***

The suit is made of gabardine, which is very durable and stretches. I wish you hadn't brought up that leisure suit analogy. My ex once bought me a leisure suit exactly like that -- with the floral shirt, the white belt and the white shoes. It lasted about a week, before I mananged to "accidentally" get some bicycle chain grease on it while riding around Hawaii.

***

Well, I was sleeping and just got up to try my first loaf of bread from my new breadmaker. Great! Back to bed.; 3:03 PM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.