Separated at Birth

I'm much better looking, but apparently I require the same accommodations as our vice president. When I'm checking into a hotel, the first thing I ask is if they have the Fox News channel. If not, I go elsewhere. But I can tune my own TV, set the thermostat to 68 myself, and get my own diet Sprite. From The Smoking Gun:

MARCH 23--After posting the performance contracts of artists like Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones and U2, The Smoking Gun has finally obtained the backstage demands of a real rock star. That's right, below you'll find a copy of Vice President Dick Cheney's standard "tour" rider. The document is provided to hotels where Cheney will be bunking and lists how the Republican pol's "Downtime Suite" needs to be outfitted. While the vice president's requests are pretty modest (no extract-the-brown-M&M demands here), Cheney does like his suite at a comfy 68 degrees. And, of course, all the televisions need to be preset to the Fox News Channel (what, you thought he was a Lifetime devotee?). Decaf coffee should be ready upon his arrival along with four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite.