Important Stuff -- Or Not: Three Words that Changed my Life

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Three Words that Changed my Life

Last year was not a good one for me. The final indignity was heaped on my shoulders last week when I stopped for lunch at a Great American Steak and Buffet. I walked in and the waitress said three words that brought my world tumbling down around me. "One senior buffet?" This was the first time in my life that anyone had even asked if I were a senior (over 55). The shock, consternation, amazement, fear and about two dozen other mixed emotions must have shown in my face, because she laughed and patted my shoulder as she led me to a booth. She treated me so well (for a senior citizen) that I doubled her tip. Sigh. Maybe I should start yoga. I'd rather pay full price than be recognized as a senior.

5 comments:

Mark said...: LOL! I wrote in one of my recent posts, that the guy at Wendy's told me he gave me the senior citizens discount without even asking if I was old enough!

Welcome to the club! (I turned 54 on Dec. 5th)

By the way, I just read the posts that you provided links to over at my place, and I agree. They are some of your best.

Did you really once wander into the path of a charging Bison? I'd love to hear that story.; 10:12 AM
Lone Ranger said...: Yeah, comes with the territory when you grow up in the Dakotas. We moved around a lot because my dad was a welder and pipefitter involved in building the northern tier missile silos. I spent most of my days hiking and exploring, because there were no video games back then and TV was something that one watched maybe two hours a day. One day, I was familiarizing myself with a new town (Boxelder, ND) and walked across a field owned by a buffalo rancher. Next thing I knew, I was being charged by what looked like a hairy locomotive. I think I broke the land speed record and the high jumping record for vaulting over a barbed wire fence that day. I was 11. Did the Guiness Book of Records exist in 1960? Just one of the many times in my youth that I walked through the valley of death.; 10:24 AM
Kobayashi Maru said...: The holy grail is to get the senior discount from one waitress and get carded by another. Either way, it sounds like a clever way to increase tippage.
Happy New Year.; 10:27 AM
tugboatcapn said...: Well, LR, I am 39, and I still get carded for cigarettes and adult beverages...

It's annoying, to say the least.

Look at the bright side, old man...
At least you have instant credibility. When you look young, nobody believes that you know what you are talking about. :); 11:57 PM
Lone Ranger said...: When I first got into broadcasting at the age of 24, my boss refused to put me on TV because he said nobody would believe the news read by a 16-year-old. At the age of 56, I still don't have gray hair. I still HAVE hair! Maybe it was just a fluke. Maybe I just got some kind of age-guessing, weight-estimating psychic waitress. She should work at a carnival.; 1:41 AM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.