OK, so I picked up my new roommate last night. Had it not been for my GPS, I never would have found the place. I was just given an address and no information that it was over the river and through the woods, WAY past Grandmother's house. I arrived 30 minutes late because of the traffic escaping Washington, DC. Want to know how to reduce DC traffic? Cut the size of the government in half and you'll reduce the volume of traffic by 50%. Easy!
There were three women there to greet me and make sure I passed muster. Fortunately, they waived the cavity search, but I had to fill out and sign FOUR forms. One of them required my driver's license number, hair and eye color, and weight. Another had questions about whether I would buy cat food on sale, would prefer to buy food at a pet store or a grocery store, and (I kid you not) whether expense would be a factor in what I buy for my pet.
The cat cried all the way back home. Think of a "meow" every three seconds for 57 minutes. But I've had kids (and a mother-in-law) so I'm used to noise in the back seat. Fortunately, she has a little, raspy meow that reminds me of Carol Channing's speaking voice. Look for a name change in the near future. I'm thinking of "Dolly."
So, we got home and I opened the pet carrier. Ginger spent the first hour hiding under the dining room table. The next hour was spent creeping around my apartment, exploring. And after tempting her with snacks, she finally hopped into my lap. Come to think of it, that's exactly how my last relationship began, except the cat didn't go through my underwear drawer. Oh, that reminds me. During the meeting, one of the women said, "Do you want to get acquainted with your dream girl?" My response was, "Dream girl? Does that mean she'll stay with me for five years and then kick me out? That's precisely why I'm getting a cat!"
I haven't seen Ginger for about 12 hours. I'm assuming she's still here, because I haven't opened my apartment door and food is disappearing from her dish. What worries me is that nothing is appearing in her litter box. I'm glad I have a Bissel SpotBot (a modern miracle and a perfect Christmas gift).
But I have to admit, that's one beautiful cat. She is perfectly proportioned. I'm wondering if she's some kind of pure breed, if such a thing exists among cats. Cats are almost as promiscuous as Democrats.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
What Have I Done?
OK, so I picked up my new roommate last night. Had it not been for my GPS, I never would have found the place. I was just given an address and no information that it was over the river and through the woods, WAY past Grandmother's house. I arrived 30 minutes late because of the traffic escaping Washington, DC. Want to know how to reduce DC traffic? Cut the size of the government in half and you'll reduce the volume of traffic by 50%. Easy!
There were three women there to greet me and make sure I passed muster. Fortunately, they waived the cavity search, but I had to fill out and sign FOUR forms. One of them required my driver's license number, hair and eye color, and weight. Another had questions about whether I would buy cat food on sale, would prefer to buy food at a pet store or a grocery store, and (I kid you not) whether expense would be a factor in what I buy for my pet.
The cat cried all the way back home. Think of a "meow" every three seconds for 57 minutes. But I've had kids (and a mother-in-law) so I'm used to noise in the back seat. Fortunately, she has a little, raspy meow that reminds me of Carol Channing's speaking voice. Look for a name change in the near future. I'm thinking of "Dolly."
So, we got home and I opened the pet carrier. Ginger spent the first hour hiding under the dining room table. The next hour was spent creeping around my apartment, exploring. And after tempting her with snacks, she finally hopped into my lap. Come to think of it, that's exactly how my last relationship began, except the cat didn't go through my underwear drawer. Oh, that reminds me. During the meeting, one of the women said, "Do you want to get acquainted with your dream girl?" My response was, "Dream girl? Does that mean she'll stay with me for five years and then kick me out? That's precisely why I'm getting a cat!"
I haven't seen Ginger for about 12 hours. I'm assuming she's still here, because I haven't opened my apartment door and food is disappearing from her dish. What worries me is that nothing is appearing in her litter box. I'm glad I have a Bissel SpotBot (a modern miracle and a perfect Christmas gift).
But I have to admit, that's one beautiful cat. She is perfectly proportioned. I'm wondering if she's some kind of pure breed, if such a thing exists among cats. Cats are almost as promiscuous as Democrats.
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3 comments:
"Do you want to get acquainted with your dream girl?" My response was, "Dream girl? Does that mean she'll stay with me for five years and then kick me out? That's precisely why I'm getting a cat!"
now that's funny. good luck with your new kitty. few legal things are as relaxing as a warm cat purring like crazy on your lap on a cold evening.
Ok. If you must have a cat, at least limit it to no more than 2. More than 2 and you become that crazy cat guy at the end of the street.
Why don't you change it's name to Tonto? After all, you need a Kemosabe.
By the way, my wife (now my ex-wife) once told me, when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, said, "something expensive that I don't need"...So I got her radiation treatments.
Guess that's why she's an ex now.
Art Carney had a cat named Tonto in "Harry and Tonto." I'm thinking "Muzzy" after a character Carol Channing played in "Thoroughly Modern Millie."
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