I have to blushingly confess that I once tried one of those computer dating services. I found one where people didn't pose naked in front of the entire world (???) and posted what I thought was a pretty interesting profile. I got a couple dozen responses the first day! That scared the bejeebers out of me, but I chose one who didn't sound like an ax murderess in search of a lonely old rich guy (I'm not that lonely, I'm not that old and I'm definitely not rich) and sent an e-mail. We corresponded for about a week, and she seemed to be a very nice person. She was quite lovely and about 10 years younger than I, but that's the sort of woman I seem to attract (yeesh, that sounds arrogant). Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I'm not a Democrat, so I'm not attracted to women young enough to be my daughter (Clinton, Condit, pick a Kennedy, etc). But 10 years younger seems reasonable. Anyway, that disclaimer aside, I forget what I asked her one day, but she responded with, "are you judging me?" That was it. I ended it right then and there and walked away from Internet dating forever. A person who resents being judged is not the sort of person with whom I would want to associate. Face it folks, we judge and are judged every day. If you are a woman getting on an elevator, you judge the man riding it before you step inside. If you are conducting a job interview, you judge the appearance of the person being questioned. If you are a supervisor, you judge your subordinates' appearance, conduct and job performance. If you are walking down a darkened street, you judge the demeanor of the person approaching you. If you are a parent, you had BETTER judge your children's friends. And it goes on and on and on. The only reason to resent being judged is if you are purposely not living up to the standard of the person judging you. And you KNOW when you aren't meeting people's expectations. So if you do resent being judged, are you for some reason not living up to what people expect of you? Although my memory is often checkered, I tend to remember life's linchpins. I still clearly remember my high school graduation. The class consisted of 10 boys and 10 girls (and one of those guys must have had two girls, because I was left out in the cold -- North Dakota cold). We were standing on the lawn after the ceremony, our diploma in our left hand and shaking hands with the teachers. It suddenly dawned on me that I was pretty ignorant. I knew how to read and write but I couldn't be an author. I'd taken math, but I couldn't be a scientist. I'd played sports but I couldn't be a professional athlete. I decided right then and there to pick something I liked and to be the best I could be. I couldn't be an author, but I could be the most honest person possible. I couldn't be a scientist, but I could be caring and kind. I couldn't be an athlete, but I could be passionate about everything I did. And that's what I've done. There are many times when I haven't lived up to my self-imposed standards, but just because nobody CAN be perfect doesn't mean he shouldn't try. Who are you to judge me? If you have been properly reared, you are a person who was taught the rules of life. You have not abandoned your parents' teachings just because you grew up. You teach your children the same things your parents tried to teach you. You are a mature, God-loving, honest, caring adult. So go ahead. Judge me. If you weren't properly reared, you're a liberal. Go away.
