Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Things You Shouldn't Hear in the Hospital
Bethesda Navy Hospital is absolutely amazing. It's like being plunked down on the set of a science fiction movie. I even had a Smart Bed. It's like a Smart Car -- but bigger. This bed adjusted itself to my body position. If I changed position, it would adjust the mattress firmness and tilt in various positions to make me more comfortable. It would also take my weight and notify the nurses' station if I got up or had a seizure.
At any rate, the technology might be advancing, but human nature stays the same. Here are some of the things I heard from that bed.
1. (from two young female orderlies in the hall) "Oh, I've done that with some of my patients." (loud GASP) "NO! REALLY??"
2. (from my orderly) "These are the biggest pajamas we have; I hope they fit."
3. (from a nurse in the O.R.) Stay REAL still. I'm going to shave you.
4. (from just about everyone) OK, you're going to feel a pinch.
I would continue, but Ginger wants me away from the computer. Bedtime.