Friday, February 26, 2010

Why Gays Don't Belong in the Military

1. Pocket poodles do not make good working dogs. 2. Working dogs do not like to wear tutus. 3. Our enemies -- who smell like goat droppings -- can easily detect Elizebeth Taylor's White Diamonds and other cosmetics. 4. If straight troops have to shower with people who find them sexually appealing, names like Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon and Renee Zellweger come to mind, not Adam Lambert. 5. Go-go boots? Really? 6. Snipers should be gazing into their scopes, not into each other's eyes. 7. MREs (Meals, Read to Eat) do not include finger sandwiches. 8. The Taliban does not respond to, "Come out, come out, wherever you arrrrre." 9. What's next, bulimics? 10. In the close quarters of combat operations, periods tend to synchronize.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh! Number 4 is precisely why I think straight people ought to be up in arms. I don't want to shower with, or share restrooms or dressing rooms with people who might be looking at me "that way."