Update on Me

My broken ankle saga has come to an end. I went to the doctor for the last time on Wednesday and he said I'll probably have chronic pain for the rest of my life, and it will probably get worse if arthritis sets in. Military medicine. I put out some catnip before I left for work last night. When I walked out the door, Sarah and Willow were engaged in a wrestling match and Ginger was dashing around in a paranoid panic at every noise and movement. Gwen doesn't partake. On Thursday, I got all stickered up. I got my safety inspection sticker for $16, my emissions sticker for $24, my registration stickers for about $76 and my car tax sticker for $587. I now have the state's permission to drive my own car for another year. What a privilege! That's another thing. The politicians say driving is a privilege, not a right. Since when? I paid for the car. I pay for the gas. I even paid for the highways. And for that I get the privilege of driving? The government treats us like sheep. We get sheared several times a year. I have started my Christmas shopping -- for myself. I already got a pair of i-glasses. Haven't tried them yet because I need a special cable for my portable DVD player. That's on order too. Hammacher-Schlemmer was out of the sunglasses that record 2.5 hours of video. Nice thing to have if you're ever pulled over by police -- not that I'm ever pulled over by police. But, they could also be used to blackmail my co-workers. Oh, wait! They're in stock again! Speaking of blackmail, the jerk of late-night TV got his tail caught in a crack. You all know the lurid details. During the confession, he talked about protecting the women, protecting himself, protecting his job and protecting his family. Not even an attempt at an apology. He said that's all he would say about it, but I think this story will snowball as women come forward to try to make a buck and gain some fame for themselves. One of the funniest remarks was from Jay Leno who said, "This guy that was trying to blackmail Letterman was a producer for the show 48 hours. It could have been worse. At least he wasn't a producer on To Catch A Predator." I have finally chosen a maid service. I'm guessing they won't look like the maids in that picture. I'll have to clean up a bit before they come. Once my apartment is pristine again, I'll try to keep it that way -- unless I break a bone again I'm off to do a story on last week's earthquake in Indonesia. Two more hours of work. An eternity.