Important Stuff -- Or Not: Hissy Fit Du Jour

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Hissy Fit Du Jour

The lefties have their panties in a bunch (literally) again. They are outraged -- OUTRAGED -- that Obama has chosen anti-gay, homophobic, hate-mongering, bigot Pastor Rick Warren to speak at the Inauguration. Horrors! Were they not listening when Obama came out against same-sex marriage? Did they not hear when Obama said he is a Christian? What part of Christian don't they understand? Maybe they thought he was lying. One of these dopes chose to lash out against "hate" -- by writing a hateful poem.

One hates blacks and one hates Jews One hates Muslims throwing shoes One hates Jews and also Whites One spews hatred, one picks fights Diverse, opinionated, noisy too All American like me and you Yet there's only the one whose hate is okay A speech to made on Inauguration Day Jews, Blacks and Whites, you have nothing to fear Your rights are quite safe ...as long as you're not queer Thank you Obama, what a wonderful change Such diverse inclusion, what incredible range Free speech justifications, good gracious, what luck Your honeymoon's over now, f** you Barack.

Of course, I couldn't leave that one alone. Liberals just don't understand that in order to be funny, satire must be based on truth. I thought I could do better

Liberals hate Christians, liberals hate Jews, Liberals hate anyone who holds moral views. They claim to be opposed to bigotry and hate, But look what they did after Proposition 8. Rage against Mormons, march in the street Refuse to accept their electoral defeat. You tried to stuff your twisted views down our country's throat, And then you threw a tantrum when you lost the vote. YOU are the people Americans should follow? Sorry, your hypocrisy is just too hard to swallow. Our next president says he's a Christian man, What part of Christian don't you understand? I didn't cast my vote for the man they call "The One," But God bless him anyway, 'cause he's the guy who won.

OK, "One" and "won" is cheating a little bit, but I was writing on the fly and I had to pee. HOWEVER, at least I'm mature enough not to have used the F word

4 comments:

Joe said...: Actually, your poem was, by my actual calculations, 2,941.683 times better!

Merry Christmas! See you when I get back!; 12:32 PM
Mark said...: I think God has already blessed him more than he deserves.; 8:15 AM
Lone Ranger said...: He's a work in progress. He needs all the help he can get.; 8:18 PM
J.M. Rob said...: Yours was better than anything by Maya Angelou - and she gets paid for hers.; 3:51 PM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.