Important Stuff -- Or Not: Cat Day

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Cat Day

Since I took my car in for its 36,000 mile checkup a few weeks ago, I decided yesterday it was time to do the same for my cats. Of course, the minute they saw the pet carrier, they headed for parts unknown and I had to track them down and catch them. I took Guenevere, the black Persian, to a pet spa for the works. They do everything to a cat that cats hate -- which is everything. I told them to make her look like a short hair. While that was going on, I took Ginger to the vet for a pedicure. She has claws only on her back feet, but won't let me cut them. As it was, it took two people to hold her down, while another clipped her. Ten bucks, but what are you gonna do? About five hours later, I got a call that Gwen was ready to be picked up. When I got her home and opened the carrier door, she came out like a fighting bull entering the ring. And she looked about half her usual size. She was in no mood. But, Ginger couldn't believe her eyes, so she used her nose. She gave Gwen a thorough going over from nose to tail. (I say tail, but it wasn't the tail.) That agitated Gwen even more, and when she looked at me and saw me laughing silently but uncontrollably, she took off and I didn't see her again for about three hours. It's 18 hours later and she still won't come near me. She sure can hold a grudge. Like my ex. When I got off work Tuesday, I stopped at a grocery store on the way, looking for some tuna salad. They make really good tuna salad, but they have it only once or twice a month. Didn't find any, but they had their entire stock of caviar in the half-off bin. I got about three jars, but I'm going back this morning to see if they have any left. I've been having toasted English muffins topped with cream cheese and chives and caviar for breakfast. I tried caviar at a party in Japan and was surprised that I not only liked it, but got hooked on it. Lesson: Don't carry caviar if your store is in a neighborhood where everyone seems to be running a salvage yard out of their back yard. The toaster oven just dinged. Time for breakfast and Fox and Friends.

7 comments:

Justin said...: I have had caviar once. It may be time to give it another try. Is there a certain kind you recommend?; 9:13 AM
Anonymous said...: What, no pictures of the girls??

That reminds me, Twix needs to go in for shots. I'll probably be shunned as you have.

Caviar--blech. You can have my share. ;); 12:10 PM
Lone Ranger said...: The stuff you find in the store is Romanoff lumpfish. But I imagine beluga is more tasty -- and more expensive.It's like the difference between $6 and $150.; 12:11 PM
Lone Ranger said...: Someday I'll find my camera. Still not done unpacking.; 12:13 PM
Anonymous said...: No camera on your cell phone, or no cell phone?

(Yes, I can be a pest.); 2:15 PM
Trader Rick said...: Ranger, you are old enough and worldly enough to know not to buy seafood off the back of a truck or out of a bargain bin...even if it is in a salty jar...; 6:35 AM
Lone Ranger said...: I have a cell phone. It takes pictures. But when I try to send them to my computer, they just disappear into the ether.; 6:37 AM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.