Important Stuff -- Or Not: My Life In A Box

Saturday, September 29, 2007

My Life In A Box

Believe it or not, I'm still unpacking. Every once in awhile, I make my way into a nook and find a puddle of dried cat puke. Not a problem. I've found that if I wait for it to dry, the vacuum will take it right up. And if that doesn't work, my Bissell Spot Bot will take care of the rest. Anyway, Thursday I came across a box containing my medals, ribbons, framed commendations and training certificates. Twenty-four years of my life is stored in one cardboard box. I have no idea what to do with that stuff. I remember feeling pride and a sense of accomplishment every time I was recognized for an achievement. But, those things are meaningless now. I suppose I could turn my apartment into a military museum, but who'd see it, my cats? I guess it will go under my bed so it won't take up closet space. It will be a problem for my heirs to solve. They won't be as hesitant to toss it as I am. Funny how your priorities change as you move through life. That reminds me. I have to have a new Will made. Thanksgiving is less than two months away. It falls on my day off this year, so I won't be expected to cook something fancy for work. I remember one year, I made a complete turkey dinner. My boss contributed a little jar of gravy. He probably picked it up on his way to work. He's retired. I'm glad. I just might make it through this year without anything soul-crushingly bad happening to me. Except for the loss of Chito, my year has been fairly good. Everything is paid off and I actually have money in the bank. If it weren't for the government, I'd have 10 times as much. Got a bombing in Afghanistan. Gots to go. Thanks for listening. If you did.

6 comments:

Justin said...: Do any of your relatives know you have such a great blog? It would be a shame if not one read it daily as I do. Keep it up! With regards to the cat puke, ya, that happens in my house too. I never had this problem when I didn't have a cat. It really brings a whole new meaning to life. I just haven't figured out what it is though. The cat does prefer my lap over my girls and my wife's. I really don't know why as I'm not always in the mood to be layed on.; 9:36 AM
Anonymous said...: Do you have an office at work? I think I'd frame the medals and ribbons in a shadowbox and hang it, along with the commendations in my office just to annoy my lib co-workers. I might frame a few of the training certificates, too. Pick the ones most likely to serve as a warning to said lib co-workers not to mess with you. Got anything in special ops that'll scare 'em?? ;); 10:08 AM
Tonto said...: I was going to say the same thing as FrenziedFeline. Hang'em up. Actually if I don't frame and hang it I don't keep it. Life is also too short to store everything til we die. Funny how you forget it all happened if you don't see it.

I used to make fun of my mom saving absolutely everything and covering the halls in trophies and pictures of 3 boys and me but now when I go home I realize you don't remember you had a wonderful life unless you see it all up like that.

To say the least...your life has and is interesting. I see a wall of fame in your house somewhere.; 12:29 PM
Lone Ranger said...: Nope. I work in a big newsroom -- just like in the Superman movies. The desks are used by three shifts. And even then, i never know which desk I'll be sitting at until I'm assigned to a region. Lately, I've been doing South Asia and Middle East a lot because I'm the fastest writer in the room and that comes in handy when people are doing cruel and stupid things to each other. Only liberals are promoted to office jobs.

I can scare people with my face. Although a Tibetan monk told me awhile back that I have a very kind face, I've made Marines cry with just a glare. When I was an instructor, I managed to get the command presence look down to a science. When I walked into a room, students tended to sit up just a little straighter. I don't do that now because I don't want to look like a jerk and people are already afraid of me. Mention that you're career military and liberals think you're a psycho killer. I'll just let them live with that delusion.

I'm always in the mood to be laid on -- by my cats. When I'm not in the mood is when a purring cat will do the most good. I keep brushing sessions down to five minutes, but my little calico Ginger has figured out that all she has to do is walk away for about 10 minutes and she can come back for another one. I've brushed enough hair off her to make a three-piece suit -- with two pairs of pants.; 1:07 PM
Lone Ranger said...: Oh, and one of my sisters said she reads this blog from time to time. But since she's a devout liberal, a lot of the things I write make her uncomfortable. I would think that since she's probably the most intelligent of my kin that I'd have converted her by now. But so far, no progress. Maybe I'm afraid to argue with her.; 1:31 PM
Mark said...: LR. I think you should keep your medals and certificates. You may not see them as particuarly important, but after you're gone they will mean a great deal to your heirs. They are part of what shaped you as a person. Your heirs will look at those remembrances of your life and fond memories will come flooding back like a good snort of scotch.

If you have no heirs, will them to me. It would make me proud to say, I (kind of) knew him. He was a great American and a good friend.; 9:15 AM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.