The Panera People

If you have a Panera Bread bakery/restaurant in your area, set aside about a half hour to visit. Sit in a corner and nurse a coffee or smoothie and just people-watch. I had the entire sound system in my car replaced Wednesday and had quite a few hours to burn, so I spent several of them in the Panera Bread next door, watching the Panera People. The Panera People can be divided into about three categories -- young geeks, 20-something yuppies, and old hippies -- the same types you see shopping at Fresh Fields. Just about everyone in the place was on either a laptop or a cell phone, or both. The young geeks spent the ENTIRE DAY in the free hotspot, just ordering something every few hours and staring intently at their screen, while talking to someone on their phone. The management didn't seem to mind. The yuppies chatted with each other or sat alone people watching, as I was doing. I guess they were just there to be trendy. And the old hippies were mostly men with long hair and ravaged faces, who looked like life had ridden them hard and put them away wet. A few talked to themselves. They sat outside to feed their tobacco habit and glare at passers-by. I guess you're never too old to be irrelevant. Oh, and there was jazz. There was a constant stream of jazz that was blaring much too loud. Maybe that was to force people out and guarantee a turnover. I just don't get jazz. Nobody hums it. You forget the tune a second after it plays. It just sounds like they're making it up as they go along and I can't figure out how they can play a song more than once. I discovered that Panera People "do" things. I first noticed it watching two young women at a nearby table. They were both studying the menu and one said to the other, "What do you want to do?" I thought she was referring to the afternoon's activities, but then the other said, "I think I'll do the strawberry chicken salad." Odd. Then I was behind another young woman to order my drink and she told the cashier, "I'll do the mango smoothie." Maybe I'm out of touch, but I'd never heard that word used in that way before. And, of course, there were the two male geeks in a corner who were resting their eyes from hours of surfing: "I'd do her." "I'd do her." "I'd do her." Neither of them looked like they had ever done anything. I guess it's just another way of people-watching. I ordered a mango smoothie ("I'd like a mango smoothie") and as I was walking back to my table, there were two women about my age standing in line. One of them said, "Wow, that looks good!" Without breaking my stride, I said, "Oh, thank you." I heard laughter in my wake. I'm assuming they were laughing with me and not at me. It's really fascinating how cultures can develop within cultures. And Panera Bread is a place where some of those cultures come together. Their mango smoothie really IS good. Get it with whipped cream.