My Viewing Habits

I consider myself to be a pretty passable cook. I have yet to eat anything in a restaurant that I couldn't make better at home (if I weren't so lazy). You'd think I'd be glued to the Food Network, but I'm not. I watch only two cooking shows. America's Test Kitchen on PBS is high on my list because I have never made anything from that show that wasn't excellent. I also subscribe to their magazine and Website. But my secret vice is Take Home Chef.

This goofy little half-hour show is a gem. The premise is that Curtis Stone, an Aussie chef -- who apparently doesn't own a comb -- picks up women in grocery stores, talks them into taking him (and his crew of 15) home and then cooks a meal for whomever she was going to cook for that night.

The woman is almost always a good-looking 20-something. I have a feeling a lot goes on that isn't seen, because when they climb into her vehicle, there is a cameraman in the back seat and a lipstick cam stuck to the windshield.

So, they get to her home and it is invariably a totally spotless apartment or a mansion. What luck this guy has! While he arranges the groceries in the spacious kitchen, she changes into something totally unsuitable for cooking and much flirting and giggling ensues. Although Curtis is supposed to teach her how to create whatever dishes they are preparing, the woman's participation is limited to chopping or stirring. She usually gets to watch only one dish being prepared all the way through before it's time for the ambush.

They must have lookouts posted all over the neighborhood because, as the object of the surprise nears home, they get a radio warning and everyone -- all 17 of them -- dash toward the front door.

The door opens, TV lights come on and 17 people shout "SURPRISE!," leaving the unsuspecting victim with the proverbial deer in the headlights look. So far, nobody has been shot, but I'm waiting for the day. Curtis finishes cooking and serves a three-course dinner and then hastily departs. End of show.

I'm easily entertained.