All Hail the Artist Formerly Known as the Queen

So, Queen Elizabeth is in town. I don't intend to spend the first day of my weekend trying to catch a glimpse of her. Traffic is guaranteed to be a nightmare wherever her motorcade goes. Being Queen must be a tough life. All this woman has done for 54 years is hold teas and knight people. It's a wonder she hasn't gone stark, raving berserk. She must have a really good DVD collection. And Prince Charles is worse off. He has been vice president of England for his entire life. As proof of her boredom, her lifelong dream has been to watch the Kentucky Derby. The only horse race I've ever been interested in watching is the Lone Ranger chasing a bad guy. I never bet on the bad guy. I was just thinking that after one of those fancy state dinners, they should put the leftovers out on a table on the White House lawn for the commoners to sample, like they did in 18th century France. I mean, it would spare the President from having to eat Spring Pea Soup and Saddle of Spring Lamb sandwiches for the next week. During her last visit in 1976, the Fords fed her lobster and saddle of veal. Maybe the Bush's should have served saddle of horse -- the one that came in last in the Derby. Low fat, high protein -- the horse, not the saddle. In case you're wondering (as I did), the saddle is a length of loin with the back bone removed. The extreme left and right flaps are trimmed of skin and fat, leaving a thin fold of meat on each side. It is usually rolled to hold a stuffing of some sort. All knowledge resides somewhere on the Internet. Thanks, Al Gore.