Important Stuff -- Or Not: Run for Your Lives, It's Gorebal Whining!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Run for Your Lives, It's Gorebal Whining!

Liberal Chicken Littles just aren't happy unless they're worried. Gorebal Whining provides them with an excuse to be perpetually fearful. If the end of the world truly is coming, they don't even have the promise of Heaven to fall back on. The temperature got up to 70 degrees in the nation's capital Saturday. Anyone who thinks that's a bad thing should read this article.

Never has good weather felt so bad. Never have flowers inspired so much fear. Never has the warm caress of a sunbeam seemed so ominous. The weather is sublime, it's glorious, it's the end of the world.
January is the new March. The daffodils are busting out everywhere. It's porch weather. Put on a T-shirt and shorts, fire up the grill, blast "Rastaman Vibration" into the back yard. Everyone out for volleyball! The normal high for this time of year is 43 degrees; yesterday's high at Reagan National was a record-breaking 73. And yet it's all a guilty pleasure. Weather is both a physical and a psychological phenomenon. Meteorology, meet eschatology. We've read the articles, we've seen the Gore movie, we've calculated our carbon footprint, and we're just not intellectually capable anymore of fully enjoying warm winter weather. Just ain't right. Ain't natural. Cherry blossoms during the NFL playoffs? Run for your lives.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...: So how's global warming causing the Blizzards in Colorado? Why is it so dang cold here?

Personally, I don't care if the coasts go into the sea if it means we won't see -40 degree weather ever again.

I WANT GLOBAL WARMING!!!! But alas, I think it's as much of a myth as a liberal American; 5:07 AM
Lone Ranger said...: Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York slip beneath the waves.

The coldest day I ever experienced, it was -35 in North Dakota. There were also high winds and blowing snow. That was the day our cat disappeared. Never did find him. I think I was in the 6th grade.; 6:20 AM
Anonymous said...: I lived close to Williston It always is colder up that way.

Yahoo has an article saying that the warmer weather allowing the whooping crane to rebound. So, may be global warming is good for the enviroment.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070106/ap_on_sc/whooping_cranes; 7:09 AM
Mark said...: The thing I can't figure out about Gorebal Whining is this: These so-called experts say that because the average temperatures will go up a whole degree in the next hundred years, the ice caps will melt and all the coastal cities will be underwater.

Does that mean the average tempaeratures at the poles, North and south, is hovering right about freezing, 32 degrees F? Because if it is indeed -40 or colder there all year round, I fail to see how the temps going 1 degree warmer will melt anything.; 9:20 AM
Lone Ranger said...: I've heard from plenty of people that there's no such thing as an average global temperature.

I like to think of myseolf as fairly smart. And when I look at something from every angle and it still doesn't make sense, I tend to smell something fishy.; 9:31 AM
tugboatcapn said...: Maybe Gore needs to come to D.C. and give a speech on Global Warming...

Everywhere he goes, they have record cold temperatures...

The Media has started calling it "The Gore Effect"...; 6:04 PM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.