Important Stuff -- Or Not: Turducken. That's Spelled TURD-UCK-EN...Uhhh, Wait...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Turducken. That's Spelled TURD-UCK-EN...Uhhh, Wait...

I've been wanting to do this for quite awhile, but since there's only me, (and two cats who won't eat people food) I haven't been able to try it. This year, Christmas falls on a workday, so I figured I'd make a turducken for my coworkers that night. For those of you not familiar with this dish, it's a turkey (tur). stuffed with a duck (duck), stuffed with a chicken (en). The whole thing is then stuffed with cornbread and sausage dressings. I spent no less than two hours at the grocery store this weekend looking for the ingredients. Not only did I have to find all the ingredients, I had to find a chicken that fit inside a duck that fit inside a turkey. I felt like some kind of mad scientist geneticist -- Dr. Moreau. I take the birds out of the freezer tonight and figure I'll spend a good part of Friday assemblying it and Saturday roasting it. This is by far the most complex recipe I've ever tried. But I'm hoping after this, I'll be known in the newsroom, not as that fascist conservative, but as that fascist conservative who's a great cook. By the way, ever wonder what you were going to make for dinner, but didn't have the slightest idea? I stumbled across this site today. It takes the ingredients you have on hand and turns out a recipe. A bit primitive, but I think I'll try it. The cable guys were here yesterday. After 10 minutes of rewiring my cable, I now have so many channels of garbage that I don't know which garbage to ignore. Now I have to rewire it to suit my own needs. My new TV stand will be delivered today. Now the problem will be getting rid of my old entertainment center. I'm going to offer it free to anyone who wants to haul it away. The weather looks good for my annual Santa drive around the Beltway Thursday. So, I'd better get my car washed before then. And that's my weekend. A bit busier than usual.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...: Let us know how it tastes. Michael has wanted to make one for a very long time. Are you using Paul Prudhomme's recipe?; 8:21 PM
Tonto said...: What is the annual Santa Drive?; 10:57 PM
Lone Ranger said...: I'm going to use the recipe I linked to in the post. The Prudhomme recipe is just too complex and labor intensive. I've seen frozen turduckens at the store, but they run something like $60. Probably worth it if you don't want to do all the work.

The annual Santa Drive is when I give my car a good washing, put the top down and the tonneau cover on, dress up in my Santa suit -- complete with red, fur-edged cape, and drive once around the Capital Beltway. The reactions are amazing. Everyone waves, grins and takes my picture. Even gangster-types, who look like they'd rather kill you than look at you, smile when I give them a wave.

This will be my fifth year.; 9:06 AM
Tonto said...: This Tur-Duck-en thing sounds so excited...we may need a picture!!!; 12:09 PM

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Talking Points

I don't use talking points, I create them.

1. Hate makes people stoopid.

2. There is nothing so impenetrable as a closed mind.

3. A stupid person is not someone who can't learn, but someone who refuses to learn.

4. It is a small mind that has no room for God.

5. You can take Stalin out of the gene pool, but you can't take Stalinism out of liberals.

6. The best way to sabotage a bad plan is to follow it to the letter.

7. The race card is the first refuge of people who have nothing to say.

8. Ignorance is the cornerstone of arrogance.

9. Which is more racist, to hate someone who is not white or to assume someone is racist because he is white?

10. Children are not stupid. If a child is taught, the child will learn. If a child is not learning, the child is not being taught.

11. To express righteous indignation, one must first be righteous. And that's a label that doesn't stick to liberals.

12. Profanity is ignorance made audible.

13. An open mind is a liberal's worst enemy.

14. Paternalism is the purest form of racism.

15. People who bend the truth, usually bend it in their favor.

16. If you always stand in opposition to liberalism, you will never be wrong.

18. Life is simple. People who make it complicated usually have an agenda.

19. Getting your news from the corrupt, liberal media is like sticking your head in the sand, except you don't get grit in your teeth.

20. Liberals' emotional development stops at the age of 16.

21. To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell the truth.

22. Idealism seldom matches up with reality.

23. Those who don't hate communism have never lived it.

24. This was a much more civil country when men walked about heavily armed.

25. This economy will never heal as long as Obama keeps picking at the scab.

26. Liberals don't think outside the box; they ARE the box.

27. You cannot change the hearts and minds of liberals, because they possess neither.

28. There is no such thing as a kind liberal.

29. Reading Democratic Party platforms is like reading the history of human rights abuses and crimes against humanity in this country.

25 Immutable Truths About Liberals

Over the years I've been writing this blog, I've been throwing out little self-evident truths that seem to have no exceptions that prove the rule. I've made a list of some of them and will add to it as I remember them or make up more. Most of this list I've come up with myself. A few I've borrowed from others.

1. Always expect the worst from a liberal and you will never be surprised.

2. Never try to reason with a liberal. They disregard any evidence that conflicts with their beliefs.

3. You can always tell what liberals are up to by what they accuse conservatives of doing.

4. Liberals don't debate, they argue.

5. The only standards liberals have are double standards.

6. Liberals feel, conservatives think.

7. Whenever you don't understand a liberal's motives, just look for the money.

8. Liberals cannot be embarrassed. They lack the gene to blush.

9. The Liberal Golden Rule is, "Do unto others but scream bloody murder if they do unto you."

10. Liberals don't have leaders, they have demi-gods.

11. There are no honest liberals. If they were honest -- especially to themselves -- they would be conservatives.

12. A liberal's business is nobody's business, but everyone's business is a liberal's business.

13. Liberals have an inflated sense of self-worth. They are like house flies that criticize the air-worthiness of a Stealth fighter. (Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, ad infinitum are morons.)

14. Liberals lack a sixth sense that conservatives have in abundance -- common sense.

15. Liberals never stop hating.

16. There are only two types of liberals -- the deceivers and the deceived. The difficulty is telling them apart.

17. Every time liberals get on their high horse, they get bucked off.

18. Liberal programs are so wonderful that they have to be forced on people.

19. Liberals always choke on their own medicine.

20. When given a moral choice, liberals always come down on the wrong side of the fence.

21. The only way liberals can build themselves up is by tearing others down.

22. Liberals not only refuse to learn from their mistakes, they refuse to admit them.

23. Liberals have only two political positions -- blind devotion and blind hatred.

24. Liberals are incapable of attacking the message, so they always attack the messenger.

25. Liberal diversity is only skin deep.