School Exkuce Notes

Looks like these parents are more in need of schooling than their kids.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Excuses Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds .

Please excuse Jackie for not having her homework she was a little under the weatherman, and there was a big flurry in Central America.

I didn't come to school yesterday because I was feeling like I was going to be sick, but thankfully I wasn't!

Please excuse my daughter for being late. Her broom won't start so I had to send it back to Salem for repairs!

I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.

I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.

I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!

My son Michael won't be in school today, he caught his thing in his zipper this morning while dressing and is in lot of pain!

Please Excuse Eric from school on May 5th thru May 19th, he was waiting in line for the new Star Wars film, you will be happy to know he got tickets for next September, when he will be missing another week of school while he waits for the perfect seat.

Please excuse Casey from school. It was Take Your Daughter to work day. I don't have a job, so I made her stay home and do housework.

Please excuse my daughter from school yesterday and P.E. forever. She had a very bad asthma attach running in P.E. because the coach made her run too much. Please excuse her from P.E. even though the doctor says she needs it.

Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.

Please excuse Ryan's absents he has smoked too much weed over the last few days and is extremely tired.

My youngest daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her younger step-brother had stolen it, filled it in and turned it in to his teacher to prove how smart he was.

My daughter couldn't turn in her homework because her dad had used it to start a fire in the wood stove.

"Johnny was late today because of a shallow gene pool."

I was late for class because the bell rang before I got here!!

I won't be in class because my dog chipped my tooth.

I was absent because I got my head caught in the power window of the car.

I didn't do my homework because of my eyes.....I couldn't see any reason to do it.

I don't have my homework because our family just got a new paper shredder, and I just had to test it out, and I accidentally shredded my homework.

Please excuse Ricky from school yesterday. He had spilled gasoline on his stomach and was afraid he would explode.

Please excuse my sister/daughter from school. We told her that her mother is her grandma, her sister is her mother and daddy is still daddy this weekend and she hasn't come out of the bedroom since.

"I only said Jesus Christ because I saw him standing there outside the window."

Please excuse Dan Druff from school today. He is having a bad case of Lice.

Sorry, my daughter Heather was not in school yesterday because we had to put our dog asleep. he was very old.

I bumped into Shania Twain last night and she thought my essay would be a really good song, so she took it, and will be returning it soon.

Sorry I was late to school. When I got up this morning, my medulla oblongata just felt really funny.