Go Back To Sleep -- You're Just A Liberal

Oddly enough, I was going to post about my dreams the other day, and then this article came along, addressing the very things I was going to talk about.

Dream world a strange, scary place for liberals Meanwhile, conservatives dream of mundane events and monogamous sex, writes Chris Lackner. Wednesday, September 27, 2006 If you've recently dreamed about sex with a stranger, flying or the dead coming back to life, chances are you're probably a liberal instead of a conservative. A dream researcher from John F. Kennedy University in California has discovered fundamental differences between the dream worlds of people on the ideological left and the ideological right. Among his findings, Kelly Bulkeley discovered that liberals are more restless sleepers and have a higher number of bizarre, surreal dreams -- including fantasy settings and a wide variety of sexual encounters. Conservatives' dreams were, on average, far more mundane and focused on realistic people, situations and settings.

Who'da thunk it? Liberals have bizarre dreams. Just more support for my theory that liberalism is a mental illness. A few days ago, I was going to talk about what I thought was my unique ability to know when I'm dreaming and wake up when I want to. When my dreams get bizarre, my logic kicks in and tells me, "this is impossible," and I am thrust into a state where I can feel the bed under me and the sheet over me and I can choose to wake up if the dream is bad, or continue if the dream is pleasant. But it turns out, other people also have that ability -- other conservatives, that is.

Mr. Bulkeley said that the most surprising result in his study is that conservatives showed a higher tendency for lucid dreaming -- being aware they were asleep. Conservatives largely reported using their "dream awareness" to wake themselves up from uncomfortable situations and nightmares, he said.

Hmm, lucid dreaming, so that's what it's called. Here's another result of the study that was not surprising.

Liberals were far more likely to have sexual dreams about strangers and a variety of partners, while liberal women showed a greater tendency towards same-sex fantasies than their conservative counterparts (24 versus four per cent)...

Conservatives, by comparison, were far more likely to report having sexual dreams about their spouse or current partner.

The study also reveals some other disturbing things about liberals, such as that they are more likely to awaken in a cold sweat, and they have higher levels of nightmares than conservatives.

But here's the kicker that sums up the whole article and feeds into my suspicions.

"While some of my colleagues think my research reinforces the stereotype of repressed, uptight conservatives, it also shows that many liberals may he hanging on the edge of mental well-being," Mr. Bulkeley said. "There may be a lot of hidden distress and unpleasantness in the liberal mind."

Well, duh!