Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Cats Aren't People

There are times when I wish I had a human companion. I just asked my cat Ginger, "You gonna answer that?" Three seconds later, my cell phone rang. I knew it would ring because it sends out audible interference to my computer before it does. It's like when I used to confound my ex-wife by answering every Jeopardy question accurately. I never told her that I was the final editor of the program and saw the episodes two weeks before they aired. Maybe that was one of the reasons she divorced me. She thought SHE was the smartest person in the world.

8 comments:

Tonto said...

ok...no doubt about it...that was funny!!!

Lone Ranger said...

But true.

Tonto said...

I can only imagine what your ex-wife's nickname for you must have been?...I mean the one she used to say under her breath!

It's not easy being married to genius.

Lone Ranger said...

I have no idea. I strived to be the perfect husband. I gave foot massages, back scratches, massages, shampoos. I cooked, I cleaned. I helped her with her college homework, paid her college bills, sometimes DID her homework. She needed more maintenance than a 1958 Ford Edsel. But it was never enough. Poor me. But I'm trained to be a perfect husband for the NEXT flawed woman who comes along.

Tonto said...

o.k. you had me at back scratches...how she could have thrown you back into the pool...I have no idea.

not to bright...must have been a closet liberal and didn't tell you.

Lone Ranger said...

She wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. I got a really bad cold once and told her my uvula
had swollen up.

She said, "I thought only women had those."

Last time I marry a woman for her looks. Last time I marry.

Tonto said...

o.k you are going to get me fired making me laugh that loud in the workplace.

sounds like you two could have been mistaken for Burns and Allen...that's George Burns and Gracie Allen in case they were before your time.

Lone Ranger said...

Sadly, they were not before my time. I remember both their radio and their TV show. Nope, we were nothing like that. Gracie was the brains of the outfit.

And what ARE you doing posting during working hours? Don't you have a doctor to defend?