Two Can Live as Cheaply as One

I have come to the conclusion that my life is too boring for even a middle-aged cat. So, I've been thinking about getting a companion for Ginger. I was impressed that when I came home from work, she'd always be there at the door to greet me (because tuna was sure to follow). I thought she just had great timing. But one day, I came home four hours early and there she was. She must just sit there for 10 hours every night. She needs some diversion. She'll have to share her TV and settle for two brushings a day instead of four (ok, ok, unless she wants more) but I think she needs a playmate. Ginger has become my watch cat. She's discovered she can wake me with just a touch on the wrist and that's what she does every morning at 7 am for breakfast. But once last week, I felt her paw on my arm and when I opened my eyes, it was 5:30 and she was standing there staring at the bedroom door with a very concerned look on her face. I got up to investigate and found an empty box had blown off a table near an open window. She's become used to all the sounds in my apartment, but alerts when she hears something new. She's no longer startled by even the noises I occasionally make. She knows that when something beeps, like the microwave, the phone, the kitchen timer or the rotisserie, it's time to jump off my lap because I'm going to get up and run. She's getting used to being a lap cat -- if I put a blanket in my lap first. But if I touch so much as a single hair while she's trying to sleep, she immediately protests. And she never laughs at my jokes. I swear she's channeling my ex-wife. As I mentioned before, she has her own TV, which is always tuned to Animal Planet. She likes programs about dogs and birds. She also watches old cowboy and Indian movies with me -- it must be all the feathers. I've taken her to the vet twice for a checkup and they say she's fine. After the first time, getting her into her carrier was like a far-sighted man trying to thread a needle. I'm not looking forward to taking her in for shots in May. My next big project is to take her to a cat groomer. I'd like to get rid of a long tuft of belly hair so she doesn't look fat. I've already brushed enough hair off her to weave a three-piece suit -- with two pairs of pants. I won't let them sedate her. If that's necessary, I'll just don my thickest oven mitts and do it myself. I've been cutting my own hair for the past 12 years with a Flowbee, so I'm confident I can do something as simple as that. I got a line on a cat named Guinevere who was abandoned along with Ginger. They've been buds since they were kittens. The Internet is a wonderful thing. I hope I can reunite them and I won't finally understand the old saying, "you should have seen the fur fly." Unfortunately for you, I'll keep you posted.