Well, darling, just hop up on my knee and I'll tell you all about it. Your grandpa had a very important job during the War on Terror. I was a liberal weasel. As a liberal politician, I criticized Presidents Bush and Rice and Bush every chance I got. I screamed and stomped out of committee meetings and called them Nazis and smeared their reputations and dug up dirt on their aides and blocked their every effort to make reforms and fight the War on Terror. I had the very important job of undermining the presidents. As a liberal journalist, I counted every American casualty, made every American military misstep look like a war crime, spiked every positive story, manufactured scandals every chance I got, and did everything I could to malign the efforts of Presidents Bush, Rice and Bush. I had the very important job of turning public opinion against the presidents. As a liberal government employee, I conducted a secret campaign of passive resistance, dragging my feet on day-to-day government work and on initiating the reforms of Presidents Bush, Rice and Bush. Every day was a sick-in. I had the very important job of sabotaging the presidents. As a liberal citizen, I established hate-blogs, gulped down without question every lie told by liberal politicians and the liberal media and went to every protest rally. I voted against Presidents Bush, Rice and Bush every time they came up for election or reelection (except when it was raining or I had a headache or something else important to do, like return DVDs to Blockbuster). I had the very important job of being a narrow-minded, hateful member of the disloyal opposition. Wow, Grandpa! That DOES sound important! Yes, it was, baby. Now, roll out your prayer rug and face East. It's time to pray again. We wouldn't want the religious police to catch us disrespecting Allah! Remember what happened to your parents.
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